Regret
by syren pan
Summary: Sanji is finally ready to take his relationship with the swordsman to a new level but will he be able to do it? - One half happy fluffy established ZoroxSanji and one half supernatural drama, all in one chapter.


**Title**: Regret

**Fandom**: One Piece

**Pairing**: ZoSan

**Rating**: M

**Warning**: If you are here for a bucket load of fluff, you have to stop reading after the word 'confession' about half way through. I dare you to read on though. R&R appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: One Piece © Oda Eiichiro. No copyright infringement intended. Just borrowing the boys for non-profit fun. All characters depicted in sexual situations in syren pan's fan fiction are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.

~x~x~

Kitchen cleaned, menu for tomorrow planned, quick trip to the bathroom. Sanji was going through the motions just like every other night, only something was a little off this time: plates had slipped while doing dishes, he had broken three pencils before the menu was done and five minutes earlier he had banged his fucking elbow on the fucking door handle to his fucking bedroom.

Sanji scowled at his still devilishly handsome reflection in the bathroom mirror. 'You pansy moron, what's the big deal?' He asked himself sternly while reaching for his toothbrush.

'You have done this dozens of times. Tomorrow he will arrive two days late because he got lost again,' Sanji smirked, some things never changed, 'and he will walk up that beach...' _Splash! _The green toothpaste clashed horribly with the wooden wall panels. Sanji's eyebrow started to twitch but he simply carried on, ignoring the stain, this time without grand gestures to underpin his monologue.

'He will walk up that beach and ask: oi, what's for dinner, cook? And we will argue, and fight and then fuck like bunnies until we are too sore to walk straight for a week. No biggie. Not at all...' He got the toothbrush into his mouth on third try, god-damn it, his hands were shaking.

Not just his hands, his whole body was trembling with anticipation, something it hadn't done in a very long time. Not since he had been given directions to All Blue all those years ago.

His restaurant and home, 'Baratie Part Deux' was right by the beach. Business was good considering that it was located in a mystical place that most people didn't believe in. His heart sang every time he discovered a new species that no-one had ever sampled before which meant pretty much every day. He had a lot of regulars, some of them he would even call friends, and just a precious few were nakama because some things are forever.

Sanji was content on most days but every few weeks for a little while he was truly happy. Those were the days when the world greatest swordsman stayed with him. He was always late but by the time the sun set on the second day after the full moon a silhouette would appear on the beach: a man with three swords strapped to his side.

Zoro never stayed long because he needed to be out there. Needed to face the competition hungry for the title, hungry for the prestige but he always came back. For the food, of course. As if Sanji just happened to be there and oh all right if the cook was begging for it he would push him around a bit for old times sake and then pounce him because fighting always got them hot and bothered. It wasn't as if there were any touchy-feely things between them. Not at all.

They had started to fuck after Ace had died and they had all been separated for two years. Two years that Sanji had spent in hell. He still had nightmares.

After being reunited with his nakama, Zoro had grabbed the cook and dragged him into the crow's nest, threatening to kill anyone who would disturb their 'alone time to catch up'.

~x~x~

Sweat cooling on his sated body, aching in all the right places in what seemed like an eternity, Sanji turned his head, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth in the process. 'What made you change your mind, marimo?'

'Huh?' Zoro's eyebrow twitched but he didn't even bother to open his eye, he was probably half asleep already.

'Oi asshole...' The cook poked the swordsman in the ribs which teased an undignified grunt from the other man.

'Seriously, what made you change your mind about this?' Sanji asked again, indicating himself and Zoro although the moss head still had his eye closed.

Two years earlier, after their ill fated confrontation with Kuma that had almost got Zoro killed Sanji, in a drunken fit, had cornered the swordsman in the crow's nest and kissed him within an inch of his life. At first Zoro had reciprocated, enthusiastically, but when they had reached the stage when the pants should come off, the green haired idiot had shoved Sanji into a wall with an, 'I can't get distracted,' instead of a decent explanation. All attempts on the cook's side to get the fire rekindled had been shut down with a firm 'no'. During the following days things had been extremely awkward between them, to say the least. And then all hell had broken loose and scattered them into the wind.

After Sanji had given up to ever get a response Zoro put his hand over his facial scar. 'This did.'

'Your eye.'

'I lost something I would never get back and although it won't stop me from reaching my goal I regret the loss.'

'I don't think I get it.' Sanji said, audibly exhaling smoke.

Zoro finally opened his eye and looked at him with more intensity than should be possible. 'I find I do not like regretting the loss of something that I could have protected, that I could still have if I hadn't been such a fool.'

Sanji got rid off the cigarette before he turned to his nakama with an evil smirk. 'So you finally admit that you are an idiot.'

'Shitty love-cook,' was all Zoro growled before he wrestled Sanji onto his back to screw his brains out for the second time.

~x~x~

Turned out sex with the marimo got better and better which was probably why they were still doing it.

Somehow Sanji finished brushing his teeth without further accidents. He rinsed his mouth and switched off the lights on the way back to bed. Slipping between the cool sheets, he smiled when he thought about how this bed would feel tomorrow night. How Zoro's body will have warmed the covers which will be hopelessly entangled with his body. How the pillows would smell like steel for days even after the green haired man had left.

That is if they would get in here after what Sanji was determined to do tomorrow. As soon as the thought hit him the trembling returned even after Sanji tried to hide under his blanket.

Because tomorrow. 'Tomorrow, I'll tell him. Touchy-feely be damned.'

~x~x~

Sanji sat bold upright as he sensed the presence of someone else in the room. He couldn't remember falling asleep but estimated that he couldn't have been out for more than a couple of hours.

'Who...' but then the familiar scent of steel hit him and before he could get another word out, Zoro's lips were on his. The kiss started off heated, desperate. Zoro's body settled on top of Sanji's. Clever fingers eager to shed clothes.

When they were finally skin to skin, Zoro took Sanji's face in both hands and just looked at him. The clouds chose that particular moment to shift and Sanji was almost shocked by what he saw: Zoro looked at him as if he saw him for the first time and it made him the happiest son-of-a-bitch in the world. The cook had never seen so many emotions dance across his lover's – yes, there it was, his lover's – face and Sanji knew they were all for him.

'Zoro, I...,' But the swordsman was kissing the words right out of his mouth. It wasn't their usual battle for dominance, give-as-good-as-you-get kind of kiss. It was tender, intimate, and so so slow. Sanji was lost. He was lost in the other man, hopelessly, gloriously lost and swore at this moment that he would never love anyone else like he loved Zoro for as long as he lived.

~x~x~

Just before sunrise and still half asleep Sanji automatically reached for the swordsman only to find that that the other half of the bed was empty. He lifted his head and blinked a few times to shake off the drowsiness.

Yep, he was alone. Shitty marimo could have at least stayed in bed to wake up together after a night like that.

Sanji found he was a tad disappointed bit figured that Zoro was still a muscle head who needed to train to stay that way. Oh well, he was probably down by the sea going through his routines. With a heavy sigh Sanji dragged his body out of bed and lurched into the bathroom for a shower.

He caught sight of himself in the mirror and smirked. His hair was a mess but the rest seemed more or less in tact, much better in fact than it would have been after what he considered their usual tumble. Zoro had been so gentle, almost respectful as if he worshipped every inch of Sanji's body. That kiss, that oh so sweet kiss!

Only one thing left to do. After all they had done last night the only word Sanji had been able to say was his lover's name over and over again. Well, first shower, then breakfast, then confession.

~x~x~

The sand was still pleasantly cool at this time of the day when Sanji wandered barefoot down to the water with a mug of fresh coffee in his hand and cigarette dangling out of the corner of his mouth. He would watch Zoro go through his routine for five minutes and then drag his ass back for breakfast and a shower before he would finally, finally tell him what he had actually meant to say to the stupid marimo that first, disastrous night in the crow's nest. He was ready and after last night he was pretty sure Zoro was ready to hear it.

Smiling, Sanji shielded his eyes against the rising sun when he saw a figure emerging from the direction of the pontoon. Not the marimo though.

It was a bit early for customers. The restaurant didn't open before noon but Sanji hadn't changed that much: if they can make it to the 'Baratie' ('Part Deux') they will get fed.

The guy must have spotted Sanji because he made a bee line straight towards him. He didn't look much older than 15 or 16. Actually he looked a lot like a younger version of Ace, only his hair was longer and brown instead of black. And he was carrying a sword.

'You must be Sanji.' The youth greeted him.

'Who wants to know?' The cook asked back. Appearances could be deceiving, and although he was sure he could defend himself against this mini-Ace that was no reason to get careless.

'He said to give you this. You would know what it meant.' With those words the youth tugged the sword out of his belt and respectfully held it in front of him with both hands.

Wado Ichimonji.

There was no mistaking it. He had seen it thousand of times. Hesitantly, Sanji reached out and accepted Zoro's most treasured possession. The marimo would never part with this katana. Never. What was going on?

'Did he say by any chance where he was going or when he would be back?' Sanji asked the young man who looked very tired. He offered the youth his coffee mug without a second thought.

The younger man took it from the cook but eyed it a bit suspiciously. 'I think I am the wrong kind of person to ask that.'

'What? Why? Who are you anyway?'

'My name is Ace,' he admitted after sampling the coffee, apparently need had won over suspicion, 'after my dad.'

'I'll be damned!' Sanji shook his head, grinning. Good old Ace left a bit more than memories of himself behind after all! But it still didn't explain what junior was doing with Wado.

'So what you just happened to stop by to introduce yourself and the marimo hands you his most precious sword in passing, just like that?'

Ace eyed the coffee again before he looked at Sanji. 'We have known each other for a few weeks. He let me travel with him.'

'You mean you stalked him.' Sanji interjected with a deadpan expression, no way Zoro would let a kid – okay, teenager – drag him down.

Ace shot him a look. 'Whatever. I followed him around. He was the coolest guy I had ever met.' There was genuine awe in the young man's voice. Sanji rolled his eyes.

'So, marimo got himself a groupie. How cute!' The cook fumbled for another cigarette. Something didn't add up here, he just couldn't put his finger on it yet.

To his surprise Ace sniggered. 'Yeah, he always said you were the jealous type.'

'He said what? I'll kick his sorry ass into his throat first thing he dares to put foot on this island again, which you said was when by the way?' Sanji added slyly.

Ace stared at him as if he had sprouted a second head. All colour suddenly drained from his freckled face. 'Oh shit! I was just thinking you are taking all of this awfully well. But I figured you would be prepared, he said something...'

A cold feeling crawled up Sanji's spine. 'Pr...Prepared?

'Sanji, he is dead. Zoro is dead.'

'Bullshit!' It was a knee-jerk response but his grip tightened around Wado's saya.

'It was a great fight. You would have been proud.' Unshed tears glistened in Ace's eyes. 'Hey, where are you going?'

Sanji walked briskly into the direction of the pontoon with junior on his heels.

'Sanji, where are you going?'

'I need to see him.'

'See him? What...?'

They reached the area but there was no blood or any other sign of a fight.

'Where is he then?' Sanji demanded angrily. 'Huh? If he is dead like you say where is his ugly ass corpse?'

'On Nanashi Island.' Ace replied. He looked genuinely frightened.

'Nanashi... but that's what two or three days from here!' Sanji shouted, completely outraged. 'You lying little shit!'

It turned out that young Ace had pretty good reflexes. He dodged the first few kicks but experience won in the end and sent the younger man flying. He landed with a satisfying thud in the sand.

'Stop! Please stop. I'm telling the truth!' Junior had his hands in the air trying to appease the cook but there was no stopping him. 'Liar.'

Ace rolled onto his feet and tried to stay out of range while he talked, tears streaming down his face. 'Sanji, I swear. I know this is hard. Man, I was there when he took the finishing blow. I cried so hard. He called me a pansy and then he handed me Wado Ichimonji and said: bring this to the love-cook he will know what it means! And then he fucking died, he died in my arms.'

The younger man had stopped running by now and was just sobbing uncontrollably. Sanji just stared at him for a long time, still holding Wado. When he finally spoke, there was no anger in his voice. 'Ace, I believe you think you are telling me the truth but it's impossible.'

'He is dead, Sanji, I'm sorry.' Ace sniffled, still holding onto his story.

'It can't be true because he was here the whole night.' Sanji said softly. He was here making love to me but the younger man didn't need to know this.

Ace stopped crying and stared at Sanji again. His eyes were red and puffy but the cook could see the utter confusion and eventually pity in his gaze.

'He is dead, Sanji. He died three days ago. He gave me the katana, Wado, and told me to bring it here, bring it to you because you would know he was gone when you saw it.'

The blond man shook his head in denial. 'No. He was here. Just this morning Zoro, he...'

Time stood still. There was no air, no light. Just nothing.

It was like waking from a dream. '..nji! Sanji!' Someone was shaking him gently by the shoulder. How come he sat on the sand? Why was his face wet? Why was he hugging the white saya like his life depended on it?

~x~x~

Sanji would never be able to tell for sure. Had it been a dream? Or had Zoro's soul somehow travelled ahead of Wado for a final good-bye, one last night?

All he would know was that he had never told Zoro that he had loved him and now he never would.

**The End**

~x~x~

NB: Nanashi is Japanese and means nameless. Ace jr. is a figment of my imagination.


End file.
